Told you all that I’d get back to whiskey eventually!

Since I am a broke ass college student, I’m not above turning to the bottom shelf. Upon reading that Old Crow Bourbon was the favored drink of such men of reknown as Andrew Jackson and Ulysses Grant I was hooked. In a world of marketing being slanted towards GLAMOR-EXCLUSIVE-BLINGBLING-CLUB-VODKA and other high rolling bullshit I was pleased to find a more simple, blue collar, manly spirit.

A – I don’t have anything interesting to report on the appearance front. It’s dark brown, looks just like all other bourbon does. There’s nothing floating in there either. That’s good, right? I guess the appearance category for bourbon is more of a, “Did they fuck something up?” test than anything.

S – Ok, damn, that definitely smells like bourbon. There is no doubt that bottom shelf “it tastes like burning” scent wafting off is infused into this Crow. There is a little bit of vanilla there, but that’s like saying Paris Hilton is a little bit smart. A little bit woody and a whole lot of alcohol. Oh, shit, hahaha, I didn’t even mean to do that last one!

T – That wasn’t the best on the rocks. I do not really care to do that straight up ever again. Coke fared little better. However, I found what Old Crow was BORN to mix with, and that is that similarly cheap ass Whiskey Sour or Sweet & Sour mix you can get at Wal-Mart or pretty much any liquor store. I don’t know why, but it just owns so hard with those things. It has become my staple, go-to drink because of this combination. You can make it 3 parts Old Crow to 1 part Sour Mix (the magic happens when there is just enough sour mix added to change the color to a yellowish green lemonade-like appearance), throw in some ice cubes, and that sonuvabitch will taste like a tall glass of lemonade to you. Lemonade that gets you from 0 to Hammered in about 30 minutes. This isn’t a complex, fancy drink that is going to make bartenders across the world envy your technical skill and knowledge; it is getting blitzed on a budget without the pain of chugging some terrible bum wine, rubbing alcohol bottom shelf liquor, or 15 beers.

You can pick up a liter (yes, not 750 ml, but an entire LITER) of Old Crow for about $7 or $8. You can get the Sweet & Sour mix for less than $5. Less than $15 is enough to keep you shit-faced drunk for easily every night of an entire week if you so desired. Carpe Crow.

Overall: ***